So long, and Thanks for All the Fish

So, now it is done. As of last week I’m officially no longer a Christian anymore. I don’t read Bible, I don’t pray, I don’t evangelize, I don’t pay tithe and I don’t do lots of things anymore, which I used to do for 5 years. To use churchspeak – my name has been erased from the Book of Heaven.

I know this comes as a shock to many who know me and have thought of me as a ’strong disciple’, whatever that may mean.

But please, let me explain reasons behind this decision and thought processes that led me to this point. First of all let me say that this is not because of some unpardonable sin that I’ve committed – no, I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t rob a bank, I’m still faithful to my dear wife, and lo, even my moral standards are the same. This same question has been asked quite a few times – did you do something awful? Reason for this is that uncountable people have left church because of some serious sin in their life. But let me repeat that again – I didn’t do anything such. I’d like that to be carved in your skull, so to speak.

Now, this has been cleared.

The reason for my leaving is very simple – total absence of faith in Bible and in the God it portrays. Simple, isn’t it? I previously wrote some posts about the questions that were unanswered for me about God. They still remain. There aren’t any responses that might answer them satisfyingly. When we had these ‘emergency talks’ to save my soul with church clergy people one of them even said that I’m never going to find answers to these questions, that somehow I’d have to get over them and live happily ever after. Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. God of the Bible should be God of Order, God of Reason etc, how come there aren’t any answers to my questions?

Just for reference I write some questions that I think remain unanswered, no matter which mental gymnastics apologetics are trying to do. They are in no particular order.

• Problem of people. Supposedly God is absolutely perfect. Definition of absolute perfectness means that it doesn’t lack anything. Nada. Nothing. So, why does someone perfect need to create extra entities? Apologetics answer to this that He might love someone, offer His endless love to someone. (Critics think for His entertainment). But this raises further questions like, why then most people are sent to hell to suffer indescribable pain for ever and ever (this is the popular view of hell)? OK, leaving the reason of our creation behind. Here comes next problem. How can absolutely perfect being create something imperfect, like humans? Out of perfect can’t come anything imperfect. Impossible.
• Problem of evil. This has been, and still is, very hot topic for many-many discussions between believers and non-believers. Basically the question is – how come there is so much evil in the world, why doesn’t God prevent all of it? The answer usually has something to do with His unmeasurable love and giving us free will, which creates all this evil. Yes, this view might answer why there are so much wars, killings etc, but there is no way this can explain so called non-human evil. Sufferings that are not caused by people themselves, but by other forces. What has free will to do with natural disasters like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes or even birth defects? And please don’t tell me these things are that we could learn something… What do you learn from disaster where 200000 people die?
• Problem of Old Testament. It’s just unbelievable what God ordered his people to do, and what He did Himself. I won’t go into this very deeply, but if you’d really read OT without prejudice that ‘this must somehow be correct and who am I to question God’ you’d see very troubling things.
• Problem of many religions/movements. If God really is all-powerful, one and only, how in the world even two Christian movements can’t agree with their theology/behavior/view of God? What about Muslims, Hindus, Krishnas and other million religions out there? Everyone has their view of God. Shouldn’t there be at least some common points? Yes, it’s easy to say that other are religions made by people but ours is correct. Everyone says that. That doesn’t mean anything at all.
• Argument from design. So, I think now many want to say that, hey, look at this wonderful world. Don’t you think this is marvelous design by some supreme Creator (God of Bible, of course, who else)? Actually, no, I don’t think that way anymore. Think this way. If you were absolutely perfect and had infinite time in your hands, would you really create such ‘perfect’ world? I think there are countless things to improve.
• Nothing fails like prayer. Honestly, how many prayers have been answered that you’re sure can’t be coincidences? Actually, to think about it seriously then prayers are totally pointless, but I won’t go into this, I understand that this gives people hope.

But I’m sure I can write here 18 reasons, believers still believe and non-believers still… well, non-believe. Thing is – seeing is not believing, but believing is seeing. I fit the world to my world view, not vice versa. There is no way to prove that God exists, just as there is no way to prove he doesn’t exist. Why you don’t believe in elves, tooth-fairies, Santa Clause and all that gang? Because they’re not probable, they’re fantasy. But you can’t prove with certainty that wood-elves don’t exists. So I can make my wood-elf worship religion and nobody can tell me it’s wrong – I tell them to prove it!

So, this is shortly.

Please also understand that I have absolutely nothing against any of the people that are in church. I still consider them as my friends, and I hope it’s mutual. I also don’t think Christianity, at least in my ex-church, of course there are many bad examples too, is something stupid. I merely think this is, um, merely unreasonable.

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